No two ways about it

trigger point dry needlingToday has been …. intense. Like wow, I thought going back to school would be hard, but I had no idea it would be quite this difficult. I mean, I guess you just kind of fall out of the habit of things, you get stuck in your own little nice, cosy rut and just get good at doing what you’re doing. Throwing myself out of my comfort zone like this seemed like a good idea at the time, but after today, I’m really not to sure about the whole thing.

Today was the first day of my dry needling course. It took ages to find one that looked half decent, and even longer to find the best of the dry needling courses in NZ, but I thought that if I was going to do this, I wouldn’t go in half hearted about it. If you want to commit, then you have to commit completely, to tell yourself that you’re going to stick it through to the end. Otherwise you give yourself an out, an easy way to say ‘oh well, better luck next time’ and retreat back into the safety of your rut. I didn’t want that to happen to me, so I made my mind up that I was going to be the best of the best.

Today did not go as I was hoping. In my mind, as I walked in my casually friendly manner would take over and I’d make instant pals while loving the course material. The reality of the situation is that life is never that easy. I was so nervous I was almost paralysed, and let me tell you, dry needling courses are no picnic. The content is difficult and confusing. It’s a real skill. I know I need to look at it as a challenge, but sometimes that’s difficult.

Today, I was not deterred. I made up my mind, I am going to do this. I need to work harder, better, smarter. Today was not the end but the beginning.

The Net Fiend Will Be Brought to Justice

tennis netsLocals are under constant, mysterious threat from the net-fiend of Keymore, and I’m just the amateur private-eye to solve the case! I now have one case under my belt, an adventure I like to refer to as ‘The Keymore Cat Burglar’. Mrs Price was so worried that her dog was extra hungry all the time and she didn’t know why. I staked out her garden for two days and found that Mog, the next door cat, had been sneaking in and stealing from Zano’s bowl, and Zano was too scared to do anything about it. Problem solved! Now Zano gets fed inside.

I’ve moved onto what people are calling a crime wave involving sports netting. Now, the Keymore Senior Tennis Association takes their sport very seriously, even if they have to cut their games in half because they’re all very old. But some scallywag has been sneaking in every week or so and making off with all recently purchased tennis nets! What a fiend! The elderly folks just want to play some good games of tennis, smash the opposition into oblivion and maybe cool off afterwards with some nice cucumber sandwiches and a spot of tea while they talk about their grandchildren and the economy. But tennis isn’t much if you don’t have tennis netting. Or at least, I assume it’s so; I don’t know much about tennis. Is that the one where you roll balls along the ground? Into nets, I’m guessing?

All I know is that the Tennis Association is a mainstay in Keymore and they don’t deserve this treatment. I will find this net-thief, and I will bring him to justice even though I’m not the police or any sort of law-enforcement! That didn’t stop me from solving the Cat Burglar case, did it? And how hard can it be to follow the guy with an armful of brand new sports netting, dragging it along behind him as he cackles into the night? Sounds like a snap to me.

-E. Brown

All Those Years in the Heat

heating repairI swear, the sun gets hotter every year. I’m not a scientist, but I spent forty years of my life setting up marquees so trust me, I know what it’s like to be outside! All that time spent in the great outdoors, and I know for certain that it got harder as I went on. When I first started as a young buck, you could spend all day outside and not get so much as a bit of red on your face. When I finally finished up, it had turned into ‘slip, slop, slap!’ and ‘be sun-smart!’. The whole company had to wear hats. I’ve never worn a hat in my life except for then!

It’s getting warmer in the winter months as well. Usually I have them heating repair people in Melbourne in at least once, because I work this wall heater like the dickens. It’s the bones, you see, and I tend to get cold very easily. All it takes is a walk in the nippy cold wind and I have to stay in my chair for the rest of the day as if it’s gone and frozen me on the inside! It’s all the age, of course, along with how hard I’ve worked all my life. But this winter? It was rather pleasant. I had the heater on a lot, but not absolutely all the time, so it never got the chance to burn out. Some mornings I’d go for my walk and not want to come home, because it was just that warm outside. In the morning! Seems terribly odd, really.

Maybe there’s something in all that global warming shenanigans, or perhaps I’m just getting older. Well, I KNOW I’m getting older, so maybe I’ve finally got used to the cold? It never used to bother me when I was working, except right before I retired. Of course, I was doing very physical work and running back and forth all the time, so it’s not like we dragged our heating services around Melbourne with us to keep us toasty while we were setting up. No, all the hefting and carrying warmed us up nicely! Now that I’m older, I have to rely on the actual heater to do that for me.


Moving to Melbourne

buyers agentOh my gosh I am like unreasonably nervous for this. I feel like I might have a heart attack or like I’m about to blackout or something, which is just totally ridiculous. I mean, obviously I’m ridiculously excited, I mean, who wouldn’t be right? But I just hate it how my nerves kick in even when it’s something as positive as this.

As I write this, I’m killing time before I go and meet with my buyers agent in Melbourne for the first time. Surprise, I’m moving to Melbourne! I know, my friends and family are going to be devastated, but you’re going to get over it guys. And, you can come visit me down here anytime you want! It’s all so crazy exciting, right? I can’t believe it’s actually happening, either. It’s been in the pipeline for so long, just ticking away behind the scenes, and now it’s actually finally going to happen. It’s like I’m stepping into a dream, I can honestly can’t believe it’s all going to come together. I’ve been dreaming of this for so long it feel strange to be finally becoming a reality. 

Obviously, I don’t know like anything about the Melbourne property market, and I didn’t want to just fly in blind – that would be totally nuts. So yeah, I got in touch with one of the best property advocates in Melbourne to see what they could do for me. It might sound a little strange to some people, but actually, they’ve been completely amazing. Like, the whole thing has just been so easy and stress-free (well, not quite, but I know I’m like 90% less stressed out than I would be if I’d done this whole thing on my own).

At this very moment, the plane’s about to touch down and I’m about to meet with my buyers advocate and look at all the amazing houses she’s found for me. Wish me luck!

Adelaide’s Air Conditioning Briefly Upgraded

air conditioning AdelaideResidents of Adelaide have been shocked, grateful and then angry in a very short space of time after a revolutionary new invention has seen the distribution of experimental mech suits to people in need of portable cooling services. Heading up the project is a robotics lab based in the suburb of Kingsvale, though the results thus far have been extremely mixed.

The project came about through concern for residents of Adelaide, with air conditioning not being readily available due to financial concerns or simply spending a great deal of time outside. The initiative, entitled ‘Mechanicool’, distributed fifty air conditioned mechanical suits to randomly selected c
itizens, who then wore them for a week to beta test the project. While the suits were an initial success, testers reported that there were a number of kinks to iron out, such as a tendency to short out in direct sunlight, the space taken up on trains and cloakrooms and spates of wanton property damage.

“Don’t get me wrong, it cools you in such a lovely way,” says Doreen Carver, one of the beta testers. “I walked to work in the blazing morning sun and it was like I’d been in an air conditioned car the whole time! But I don’t quite understand the need to install the destruction function. At one point I received an audio warning that a threat had been detected and my suit automatically stepped out in front of traffic and demolished the front of a truck. I thought cooling was all it did.”

Other testers reported their suits rampaging through offices, often targeting such objects as water coolers and parking meters while flashing ominous warnings.

“This was to be a proud day and a great step forward for Adelaide’s air conditioning services,” says local council chairperson Irene Williams, who financially backed the project. “But it’s clear the suits aren’t ready. They condition the air, but also destroy a lot of random objects for some reason.”

Meanwhile, tech company Lawrence Corp has shown interest in helping to develop the suits to make them consumer-friendly.

Air Conditioning: Maybe Not a Conspiracy

Canberra air conditioner repairsCall me crazy, but I’m starting to think that this whole ‘air con is discriminatory’ thing really doesn’t have any scientific backing. For a while now I’ve been lobbying our office to spare us the freezing air con winter, because some folks in the office just feel the cold more than others, you know? But everyone I tried to rally to my cause just told me to wear more layers. My sit-in protest, in which I came to the office on a sweltering day wearing full arctic survival gear, just had people avoiding me for a month afterwards, even after I’d had a shower and cleaned away all the sweat. And when you’re protesting something physical that only seems to affect you? The zeal decreases fast.

Alright, I guess I’ll remove the pickets stopping the Canberra air conditioning repair people getting into the building. Not claiming responsibility, though…I’m already on thin ice with the boss. Ha ha, thin ice.

But this is a problem! I get seriously cold when the air con is on full-blast, and no one else seems to mind. It’s not the same in winter, when I walk into the heated office and it’s like inhabiting my own private tropical island paradise that also happens to be full of people talking about the weather. Nope, nothing like that at all. I’m running with the theory that my body temperature is just ten degrees lower than the rest of the human race. So instead of protesting to turn off the air conditioning…I should protest to raise awareness of my unique condition! Or rather, all of us who happen to have this unique condition. I’m sure there are others like me out there, sitting in their offices in Canberra, air conditioning freezing their bodies as well as their souls, and they’re not as outspoken as I am. Not many people are. But I shall rally them all, and together, we’ll…go to the doctor and see if this is a real thing! Who’s with me??


Top Class Channel Video Production

corporate videoMy Me-Straw channel is going to take off. This is my year. I can FEEL it. I just got a super good camera, I’ve shifted my desk to it faces the window and so I’m getting loads of natural light, and I’ve been taking notes on the presentation of all the biggest Me-Straw stars. The consistent parts have been ‘BOMBASTIC’ and ‘MOUTH OPEN LOTS’ and ‘LOADS OF SWEARING WHILE ACTING LIKE A VERY SMALL CHILD’, but I’m not over keen on that last part. I think my gaming channel is a bit above. Like, I’ve got a screen-presence. I just need an audience.

I even emailed Melbourne’s biggest gaming channel, RooGames91. And he emailed back! It wasn’t all that helpful, though, but I appreciate him sharing a couple of tips. He said when he was starting out, he was living in his parents’ attic and they were pretty rich, so he just looked around for the best Melbourne videographer money could buy and got his channel going with some real technology clout. Personally, it’s a bit weird, the way he says it. I mean, most of his videos are just him in a little screen-within-a-screen right at the bottom while whatever game he’s playing is right up there as the main focus. Maybe picture-in-picture is a tricky effect to pull off properly, I don’t know. Whatever the case, I think he may have been exaggerating how much the videographers really did. I guess he called them, they came along expecting something a bit more elaborate and he just said that he was starting a gaming channel and needed some lighting tips. I guess videographers really know that stuff well, being part of their job and all. Doesn’t seem necessary though.

Like, I don’t think I need Melbourne’s corporate video production folks just yet. Most of my videos will be the same thing, with me appearing in a tiny window making witty and poignant commentary on whatever game I choose to play on that particular day. I’ll work on sharpening my wit, THEN move onto the fancy stuff.


Guess who got accepted?

trigger point dry needlingToday has been absolutely, hands-down amazing. Why, you ask? Well, today is the day I finally found out whether or not I’ve gotten into my course. I know, exciting right? Well, safe to say, I’ve been losing my mind more or less all week, the anticipation has been killing me. I’ve been a total nervous wreck and this morning was the moment of truth.

Naturally, logging on was a challenge in itself. The site crashed completely at least twice, all the handiwork of the inconsiderate trolls who spam the bejeezus out of it just to watch the world burn. However, after a very frustrating half hour, I learned my fate.

I did it! This article that you are reading right now has been written by someone enrolled in one of the best dry needling courses New Zealand has to offer – me!

I know, I know, that probably sounds really conceited, but I don’t think I can express in words just how excited I am about this. I’m serious. My face is literally aching because I’ve been holding the world’s biggest grin on it for the last four hours and I couldn’t stop even if I wanted to.

Naturally, my family is just as excited as I am. It’s been a long and hard road getting here, but to be able to say that I’ve finally made it is just incredible. I realise that completing trigger point dry needling courses is not everybody’s dream, but it’s just such a huge achievement for me. And no one can take that away from me. Except for the board of the institute I’m enrolled in, of course, but hopefully they won’t do that.

So, class starts in three months, and I’ve got to be honest here, I don’t think it could be possible for me to be more excited. I’ve reached the maximum level here.

Technology Knocking Down Ugly Trees

Melbourne tree loppingKids these days and their smartphones!

That’s what I’d be saying if I was one of the boring old people. But I’m not, and my E-Phone is the greatest thing since sliced bread! I should know, because I clearly remember when they brought it out and people would just stand there in the supermarket, not knowing if they should touch it. Just imagine if flat-pack furniture was delivered to your door fully-assembled, and no one saw it coming.

But oh, these new phones are marvellous…and I’m hooked! I can order all kinds of things online with a quick email. There’s a certain tree outside our staring window at the old folk’s home. A real eyesore, but everyone says it adds character. All I did was plug ‘get me some Melbourne tree removal, pronto!’ in the search box thing, and it came up with all kinds of lovely folks who could help me out. Of course, I was holding a phone, so a quick call later and they came along to chop it down, chop chop, ha ha!

Oh, I got a scolding from the management, like I was a little child, but I just couldn’t stop giggling throughout the whole thing. Oh, the power of technology. Everything is just so instant, and I love it! The only thing that isn’t instant is online shopping, and even then it’s at your door in a few days. I can get anything I want. Heck, we could even order a new tree online, a nice one this time, and have it planted right where the old, ugly tree used to be.

Of course, I do post a few pictures of the grandkids, a few memes, the usual things. I’m still a grandmother. But golly, I don’t need anyone to tell me how to use this thing. I’m a real pro! And now I’m walking around the grounds, seeing a few other bits and pieces in need of Melbourne’s tree pruning fellows, if not full tree lopping. Golly, it’s a lot of power to be holding in my hand. I love it!


All hail the new bathroom renovation

bathroom renovations MelbourneI don’t know how long this renovation will take, but I am optimistically saying that it will take at least 2 more weeks. There is just the bathroom renovation left to do and the stuff we’ve ordered is almost here.  The cabinets looked amazing in the photos I just hope the benchtops match as well in person. I’ve spared no expense on this little project of mine. When I showed the projected budget to my husband I thought he was going to have a heart attack. He wasn’t prepared for how ambitious my plans were. When you want imported Turkish marble counters then it’s going to cost a little extra, it’ll be worth it though.

My best friend Linda has the very same benchtop, it’s part of the reason that I chose that particular design for my bathroom. She’ll be furious when she finds out that I have used the same backsplash and tiles as her. It looks great and really does fit in well with the rest of the renovations in the house. I am to be honest, I have copied the design almost completely from Linda, the kitchen and living room are really modelled after her home. I even went to the trouble of hiring the very same bathroom renovations company in Melbourne. They were fantastic help every step of the way and made sure to keep me informed. Linda had suggested I give him a go once I told her that I planned to make some updates to the old house. I neglected to mention that I would be borrowing her designs. I get the feeling that I will be the most popular person in my group of friends soon enough because I will be the trendsetter. There will be lots of people I know who are going to be jealous and want to call the bathroom renovations experts from Melbourne. If anyone asks I’ll tell them I came up with the designs on my own. I just can’t ever invite Linda to my house again.

1 2 3 8