Jared Diamond Books

I never actually thought I’d be in a position where I could buy a house. With the market always rising along with the cost of living increasing, I’d just assumed it was going to be impossible. I was prepared to rent for my entire life.

Last month, though, my partner and I finally found ourselves in a position where we could actually think about buying a house. We immediately got in contact with the best buyer’s advocate in the Malvern area, as we were feeling a little overwhelmed by the prospect of house hunting alone. It’s been a great experience working with an agent, as they’ve found a bunch of suitable houses for us, and we love pretty much all of them. Now we just have to decide what suburb we actually want to live in.

I’m really glad that we can finally afford to buy a house. Steve has been working hard for years, and finally got that big promotion he’s been going for. I work from home, selling crafts that I make. My business does really well, actually. I make more money than Steve does, per hour of work. Even still, I didn’t think we’d actually get here. I feel terrible saying it, but we’re really lucky that his great aunt died and gave all her money to us. I don’t think we ever could have afforded to buy a house without it.

Without the suggestion of Steve’s dad, I never would have thought to get a buyer’s advocate. Close to Brighton, there are so many incredible houses, but we wouldn’t have even known about them without an agent on our side. It’s really transformed the house search from something that would have stressed us out into one of the most exciting things I’ve ever done.

I just hope that I can find my dream home and snatch it up before anybody else does. Then I’ll be all set for the rest of my life! 

– Jane

I don’t know exactly what a conveyancer is, but I assume it’s some kind of dark sorcerer powered by demons. According to Murphy, the conveyancers are going to come to this house and ‘transform it’ into something else entirely. I don’t know how they’d manage that without sorcery. We’ll need to perform ancient rituals to banish them, and quickly, otherwise, it will be too late. Ironic, I know, that I want to remove the demon magic from this house when I died because people thought that I had demon magic in me. Put on a pyre I was. Not fun, but at least I know I’m free of demons now.

Murphy says that these people are masters of conveyancing near Carnegie, and I don’t know what that means, but presumably, they are quite powerful. They are going to magically give this house to someone else so that they can turn it into a hotel. You must need powerful magic to turn a house into a hotel all of a sudden. I don’t like this. Not one bit.

Julius is telling me that I’m overreacting, but I think I’m underreacting. I think everyone here is underreacting. These conveyancers can’t just come here and use their foul magic on this house. I’ve lived here for six hundred years, and I refuse to have this place besmirched by witchcraft. So I’ll keep talking about how terrible this is and make Julius type the words into the glowing box, which he assures me is not magic. I think he’s lying, though.

As if conveyancers from Carnegie wasn’t bad enough, apparently they also practice conveyancing close to Highett. I don’t know who Highett is, but it’s clear that these sorcerers are powerful beyond imagination. How are we possibly supposed to stop them? Maybe we should contact some other magical conveyancers and get them to fight the other ones. Can we start a conveyancing war of some sorts? Have sorcerers fight against one another, distracting them from their mission here? It’s a crazy plan, but it’s so crazy that it just might work.

– May